By Odeon Black
I know, I know, you're thinking oh no! Another article about dating. Well, yes and no. This article is specifically about dating your disability. I was thinking we all want to go out on a date, but how many of you have thought about dating your own disability?
The romance, the intrigue, but most importantly the awkward moments. I mean there you are with your quadriplegia, holding hands and maybe kissing a little. Then one of you needs a condom, who the hell is going to get it? Nobody, that's who. So there you go having unprotected sex with yourself. The horror.
Maybe you're going out to dinner with your quadriplegia, and of course you both want to eat at fancy a restaurant, but there is a step. How the hell are either of you going to get over that step to get into the restaurant? So you sit, hungry. Watching from the outside as others enjoy a delicious meal with someone they are going out with.
I suppose the truth is that dating yourself can be cumbersome and odd. In some situations, it could lead to unprotected sex (with yourself which I guess is okay). In other situations, it's just sad.
It doesn't have to be this way. Do you know why?
Because you have the ability to stop dating yourself. There I said it.
How? What can I possibly do to go out on date with someone I like?
These are all fair questions? I mean who hasn't asked themselves, do you think she likes me? Will he find me attractive if I wear this dress? Do you think she cares that my catheter just popped and I leak all over the front seat of her car? Hell yeah she cares (about her fucking car), I digress. Getting back to the subject at hand.
There are thousands of questions you can ask yourself about whether or not you should take a bold leap, and ask someone out. There are millions of answers you could play in your head about what that person will say. However, the only way to know is to do it. Just like the Nike commercial says. But you already knew that. You know that in order to do something you first have to get it done. So let me help you, let me offer you some advice.
You Gotta Have Cohones (yes even if your female)
I could have said Moxie but it seems like cohones have more testosterone in them. This means, that you get to a point were you look in the mirror and say, I don't really care what people think! It's that simple.
Yet it's not, right? Because we are preprogrammed, by our parents, the media, our friends and colleagues to care about what other people think. It is difficult to break out of that mold, even for the minute or two that one will spend asking a person out on a date.
This is especially difficult if on top of society's message concerning image and perception, one is also dealing with a disability. I call that the double conundrum. I also call it the reason nothing ever gets done for some people. It is our excuse as to why we couldn't or wouldn't do something.
But here's the kicker, many of us will always have a disability.
Therefore, the time is now. Because, tomorrow, the day after, and the day after that the odds are that you'll still have a disability. Yes. I realize that many people do not want to be disabled. Maybe, many of you won't be disabled one day. But you are here today, now, and the person you may be interested in could be gone by tomorrow. Therefore, if you do not have cohones, you better get some quick.
You gotta have style (yes even of your a male)
Remember the lyrics to Madonna's song, Dress You up?
"You've got style, that's what all the girls say
Satin sheets and luxuries so fine
All your suits are custom made in London
But I've got something that you'll really like"
While the song itself was great and I would personally love satin sheets, custom made suits, and maybe one those James Bond 007 cars, that's not necessarily the kind of style I'm talking about. Actually, you can find the style I am talking about, on the 4th line of the song above; it says,"But I've got something that you'll really like".
Style, is personal, it is individually tailored to your surroundings and the person that you are. Most often we find that we try to hard to change who we are just a please others, when we do we lose our style. Have you ever seen one of the Austin Powers movies? Well then, think of style like Austin Powers thinks of Mojo. We all have it we just have to find it.
It is what "I have", my sense of self, the way I carry myself, the things I like and who I am that define my style. Some people may love pink or purple others may find they like high-heeled shoes or hip-hop music. That makes you, you!
The more comfortable you are with what you like and how great those things make you feel, the better the odds are that you have style. People like that. Romantic interests like that. So get to it, find your Mojo, and get ready for that date.
It probably asking yourself, I thought this article was about dating your disability? What happened? Is this guy nuts? Answers: Yes and no. I don't know what you're talking about. And yes! See, if you don't get some cohones and don't get a hold of your Mojo, you be dating yourself. Don't date yourself, its weird.